Just Can't Help It
by spndrwhosherlock
Summary: Lauren Meyers has been hunting with the Winchesters for three years and when she meets Kevin Tran, she finds her 19-year old self instantly attracted to him. But between Lauren's hunters life, denial, half-brothers and Kevin's destiny, insecurity, and cluelessness, will they ever end up together? Starts in 7x21 Reading is Fundamental. Hints of Destiel. Rated T for later chapters


**Authors note: This is my first fanfiction so please don't be too hard in the comments, but I would like some tips and to know what people think. Thanks, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters except Lauren**

I had been hunting with the Winchesters for almost 3 years now, but I still couldn't believe some of the trouble the two boys got into. I had no idea how I had gone from hunting down yellow eyes to "unearthing the word of God" as Cas put it. So walking back into the hospital room and seeing no tablet really shouldn't have surprised me, but of course it did, since no one really got used to the impossible bad luck of our lives.  
"Hey!" I heard Sam call as he ran after the short Asian kid that had stolen the tablet. I tucked a lock of blonde hair behind my ear, as I watched the amusing game of cat and mouse.  
"No stop! Leave me alone!"  
If the situation hadn't been so bad, I probably would've laughed at the almost comedic means of the encounter, but couldn't help but cringe for the poor guy as Meg's fist connected with his face. When he wasn't running for his life, he was actually kinda cute and he looked about my age.  
"I'm K-Kevin Tran. I-I'm in advanced placement. P-P-Please don't kill me!"  
"I'm not gonna kill you." Sam said and he proceeded to try and take the tablet, but poor Kevin Tran had a death grip and was picked up with it. "I'm sorry" he whined as Sam tried to shake him off the tablet. "Sam stop. Can't you see he's terrified?" I said, and was given a scared yet grateful look from Kevin.  
"I'm sorry. I don't know why but I can't let go of this." He said, sounding as if he was about to burst into tears. Sam, Meg and I shared confused glances and proceeded to walk back inside, Kevin in tow.

"You really stepped in it kid" Meg said as Kevin sat down on Cas' abandoned hospital bed.  
"All I know is this is," he clutched to bag containing the tablet closer "it's for me. I'm supposed to keep it."  
"Good luck" Meg muttered but Sam and I ignored the demon and focused of Kevin. "But you don't know what it is?" I asked, getting a heard shake in reply. "Open it" Sam stated, referring to the bag that held the broken tablet.  
Kevin unzipped it and pulled out the broken rock pieces. I couldn't help but stare in awe as he put all the pieces together, as good as new.  
"It's writing"  
"Yeah. Yeah we get that," Sam said impatiently  
"What's a leviathan?"  
"What? You can read it? That's what it says?" I couldn't help but exclaim excitedly. Finally. Maybe he can tell us how to kill them.  
"Not exactly. It hurts a little. Like looking through somebody else's glasses, but I think it- it's about leviathan. How it came to be. God locked it up far away, right? Like in jail, because they're so- they're.." He trailed off, looking up at me and Sam. "They're real. Aren't they?"  
"Yeah Kevin they are and they're here," Sam said. "Does it say anything on how to kill them? Cause that's kinda been a problem." I asked.  
"I don't know. It's not like reading reading, it's- it's hard to focus on too long." Suddenly, the lights started to flicker and Meg's eyes turned black. "Sam" I muttered worriedly. This definitely wasn't a good sign. Kevin then started to scream, catching sight of Meg's demon eyes, and backed further onto the bed. "Kevin," I said calmingly, sitting on the bed next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you. Just calm down." I knew what he felt like. Panic, fear, the feeling as if nothing's real and it's just some twisted nightmare.  
Glass shattered and wind blew but Kevin had luckily stopped screaming.  
"Demon" a voice spat in disgust. An angel. Meg was tossed across the room and hit the wall with a bang, causing Kevin to panic again. I squeezed his shoulder but I knew it wouldn't do much. That's another thing you never get used to. The fear.  
"A demon whore and a Winchester. Again," the angel said, angrily. Suddenly, I felt all the wind go out of me as I was tossed away from Kevin's side and into a wall. "Lauren!" Sam yelled, running over to help me. "Stay away from the prophet." We both looked up in alarm and confusion at her words.  
"Me?" Kevin asked in wonder.  
"Soul keeper of the word on earth we take you" the female angel said looking over at the other, male, angel.  
"What do you mean take?" Kevin and I said at the same time, ignored by the angel.  
"Kill the demon, her lover, and the small one." The female angel said, and I couldn't help but glare at her accusation. "Look lady you've got it all wrong." I said weakly. "They're," I gestured to Sam and Meg, "not lovers, and what do you mean by small? I'm not that short!" Once again, I was ignored by the angels. The male angel stepped forward to smite Meg, but recoiled when his hand collided with an angel blade.  
"Where did you get that?" The female angel raged, storming over to Meg. Before she could do anything, Cas appeared, smile on his face.  
"Castiel" the male angel said in amazement.  
"Hi," Cas replied, still smiling.  
"You're alive."  
Cas just flashed another grin and gave a little bow.  
"You" the female angel said.  
"Hello Hester"  
"You smote thousands in heaven. Gave a big, scary speech and you were gone. What the hell was that?!" Hester yelled  
"Rude for one thing," Cas said, sounding genuinely upset.  
"Where have you been?" The male angel asked calmly.  
"Oh Inias," he sighed, "Hester. I know you want something. Answers. I wish it could be that. There are still many things I can... teach you. I can offer, well, perspective. Here! Pull my finger!"  
Silence  
"Uh- uh, Meg will get another light and I-I'll blow it out again, and, uh, this time it'll be funny, then we'll all look back and laugh."  
More silence  
"Your insane" Hester suddenly said, disgustedly.  
"Heads up sunshine"  
I turned to see Dean, as he pressed his hand into an angel-banishing sigil. With a flash of light and the screaming of angels, three less bodies occupied the room. I couldn't stop myself from going over to check on Kevin. I felt so bad for him. I knew exactly how he felt. Terrified, powerless. No one should feel that way.  
"Are you okay?" I asked him gently as the others talked. All I got in return was a panicked yell. "What's happening?!" He breathed heavily and deep. "What's happening?!"  
"What is that?" Dean asked, with one of those 'seriously Sammy?' looks on his face.  
"It's uh, Kevin Tran."  
"He's in advanced placement" I added helpfully.

Kevin rocked back and forth on the bed and I put my arm around him. I know it wouldn't comfort him much since he didn't really know me, but when I was in a similar situation, I would've given anything to have someone there for me, stranger or not, especially if they were my age.  
"So these leviathans, these monsters are real. Angels, with wings."  
"No- no uh, wings. No anything." Sam said.  
"No junk." I snorted "junk less"  
"You can say that again" Dean muttered. "So you can read to chicken scratch on the god rock, huh?" He asked, attention back on the prophet.  
"I, uh-"  
Dean cut him off. "It's back in one piece, I see. You're saying there's a 'how to punch Dick' recipe in there?"  
"I don't know what your saying but it's kinda like an in case of emergency note. What did they mean by prophet?"  
Dean looked at Sam and me. "oh no, seriously?"  
"Yeah," Sam said while I rolled my eyes. "I- I don't wanna be a prophet." Kevin said. "No. No you don't." I said giving his back a little pat. I felt a little jittery in my stomach when I did. I felt so bad for thinking this but meeting someone my same age who was now in the hunter world kind of made me happy. Oh god I am mean and sick and twisted. I shouldn't be happy he's being sucked into this, I thought. "Gentlemen, Lauren," Meg said, interrupting my thought process, "we better start running or do you wanna wrangle with those wing nuts twice?"  
"Sorry, did you just say 'we'?" Dean asked the demon.  
"I'm on the angels radar now. Don't you think we need a little safety in numbers?"  
I sighed. "We can go to Rufus' cabin. Kevin can do his 'book report' there."

I woke up with a yawn as we pulled into a rest stop. "Stay here and keep an eye on him," Dean ordered as he got out if the car with Meg and Sam. "So..." Kevin said, looking nervously at his feet. "I know how you feel" I told him. He just rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the comfort but how could you possibly know how I feel?" This time, it was me who looked down at my feet. I took a deep breath not sure if I wanted to share the story. But when I looked at Kevin, I wanted to. I wanted him to know he wasn't alone. "I was 16 when it happened. My brother Adam and my mom were killed by gouls while I was away visiting a friend in Denver. My dad only visited once or twice a year, and it turns out he was Sam and Deans father too. When I came home, Adam was with them, looking for my apparently missing mom. I trained with them, learned what my dad's real job was. Later that night, my mom showed up and she and Adam attacked us" I paused, trying not to shiver at the memory. "But it wasn't Adam or my mom. It was gouls, pretending to be them. Dean was checking out some grave robberies so we got knocked out pretty easily with only two people. They tied us up and started to butcher us to eat later. Dean showed up and saved us just in time." I let out a small sigh. Things had changed so much since then. "I know it's nothing compared to what other people have faced, especially you with that big prophet destiny on your shoulders, but it still messed me up pretty bad. My parents and brother dying messed me up pretty bad. Anyways, I stayed with the Winchesters, and they trained me. I got sucked into the hunter world and I don't want it to happen to anyone ever again. Even though I love my brothers, it still kinda sucked having to give up my old life, you know?" I paused for a moment, not meeting his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not a good storyteller and I'm starting to ramble. I don't usually tell people about this but there's something about you. I feel like I can... trust you." I gave him a shy smile and was given a kind one in return. "You can trust me. And I feel like I trust you too, but I don't know why. Maybe it's cause you're- you're nice to me and you understand. It just all doesn't feel real, you know?"  
"Yeah" I whispered and I felt my heart skip a beat as he gave me another smile. Shit shit shit shit shit, I thought. No! Bad Lauren! I know you've been feeling lonely but no silly school girl crushes! You promised yourself, I internally scolded myself. Besides, people just get hurt in hunter relationships. He finally looked away and focused his attention on a tree by the side of the road. "It just all feels...," he started, "like its a dream or someone else's life. And I'm so scared. Scared of leviathans, angels, demons. All those made up things are real and it scares the crap out of me." I sighed and patted his arm, causing him to turn and face me. "That's exactly how I felt" I told him. "That's exactly how I still feel every day. I can never... get used to it, you know? The constant fear, not just for myself but just waking up and knowing a family member might de dead by the end of the day. It's been almost 3 years and it still doesn't feel real." Just then I noticed just how close our faces were. Only inches apart. All the promises and scoldings were forgotten as I looked into his kind eyes.  
"Hey, kids," an unaware Dean exclaimed as he hopped into the front seat, hopefully not noticing the 3 foot gap now in between Kevin and I.

As we drove down the dark road I felt Kevin wake up beside me. He gave a little gasp as he saw Meg, and pushed up against the window more, before relaxing again. "What?" She asked, offense in her voice. "Nothing," he sighed. "Just my life, the future,-" he was cut off by Meg's phone ringing. "My girlfriend, my moms car..."  
I felt something deflate inside me. I knew it was a one in a million chance, but I had still been a little hopeful. I mean, we had a real moment back at the rest stop, right? He turned and made our faces so close. Or was that just me...? My imagination making something completely platonic intimate. God I just couldn't believe I had even thought about it! Why was I so stupid? I've only known him like a day and this isn't some stupid disney movie. Soon he'll go back to his normal life and I'll never see him again. What was I thinking? Even the thought of romance should be cast out of my head. I'm a hunter, not some 18 year old slut who falls for every guy who smiles at her. I turned my attention back to Meg's phone call. "He's at a dog trek in Perk." Meg was saying to Dean. "Yeah, they're unhappy cause the rabbits fake. Listen, we're on highway 98 north of St. Cloud Minnesota just passing mile marker 79." Suddenly, Cas appeared inbetween Kevin and I. The latter let out a shout of surprise at Castiels appearance. "Kevin, meet Castiel," Meg grinned. "You one of the angels?" He asked, but instead of replying Cas just poked his nose. "Boop," Cas said then immediately turned his attention to Meg.  
"Meg are you hurt?"  
She just rolled her eyes. "Shut up-"  
"So what was the deal with those guys?" Dean interrupted from the front seat.  
Cas leaned forward to talk to his best friend. "They're from the garrison, my old garrison!" He said excitedly, like a little kid talking about his recess friends. "Looks like Hester's taken over. We were assigned to watch the earth. Often it was boring. Your wars are very boring, your sex, repetition. Anyway, I was their captain. Isn't that strange?"  
"Cas, why are they pissed at us now?"  
Sam was ignored as Cas turned to his 'thorny beauty'. "You know, those racing dogs were absolutely miserable. They can only think in ovals."  
"Cas!" Dean suddenly exclaimed. "Don't make me pull this car over."  
"Your angry. Why are you angry?"  
I sighed and gave my favorite angel a pat on the arm. "Deans not angry Cas, just a little frustrated at the situation. Do you think you could tell us why the angels are after us?" I asked hopefully. The angel slumped in his seat with relief. "There is no reason for anger. They're only following protocol. If the Word of God is revealed, a keeper of the Word will awaken, like this," He said, touching Kevin's nose, "hot potato right here." He continued to poke the poor guys nose before being asked by Kevin to "please stop that."  
"Anyway, Garrison code dictates you take the keeper to the desert to learn the Word away from men."  
My eyebrows shot up. Kevin couldn't live in the desert. Although I was still feeling dejected for realizing what an idiot I was, I still wanted him to go back and live his life how he wanted to. "What kind of sense does that make? He has to tell us so that we can use it." An angry Dean exclaimed. Cas just looked guilty and slumped further into his seat. "That's God and his shiny red apples."  
"I- I can't live in the desert. I-I'm applying to Princeton!"  
Dean gave me a knowing look in the rear view mirror. He felt as bad for Kevin as I did, although he would never admit it.  
"Okay, you know what? Screw the Garrison. We need the tablet to end Sick Roman's "Soylent Us" crap."  
"If you want the Word, you'll have to duck Hester and her soldiers."  
"Yeah, you're in our corner, right, Cas?" A nervous Sam asked.  
"No, I don't fight anymore. I watch the bees."

I felt my stomach churn with sadness as I walking into the familiar living room of Rufus' cabin. This place reminded me of two special people; Rufus and Bobby. Although I wasn't all that close with him, Rufus was a good guy. Once you broke through his hard exterior shell, he could be one of the nicest guys you'll ever know. A nice guy whose gone through some hard shit.  
And then there's Bobby. I felt shivers realizing ghost Bobby was somewhere in this room. Even though he was technically Bobby, he didn't feel like the sweet old guy who had acted as a father figure toward myself and the boys. Sure, Bobby would call us ijits and complain about us but we knew he loved us. That was just how Bobby showed affection. But ghost Bobby seemed different, and sometimes he scared me. I sighed and drifted over to the couch while Dean led Kevin to the basement and Sam and Cas headed into the kitchen to talk. I didn't even know where Meg was.  
God, things are bad, I thought. Leviathans, Bobby, Kevin, it was all just too much. I was so scared, scared of losing Sam, Dean, Cas. I felt my composure start to crumble as I found myself thinking of everyone we'd lost. Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Rufus, Adam, and so many more. I felt the tears run down my face and I buried my head in my hands. Stop crying, I told myself. You're a big girl, a hunter. Soak up those tears and just block out the pain. I pulled my earbuds out if my pocket and played one of my favorite bands, Green Day. Music always made me feel better. Music and reading. They both made you feel like you were in a different world, a better one. It was a nice way to take a break from my own life. Suddenly, I found myself laying down, eyes closed, and before I even knew it, I was drifting off to sleep.

I woke up panicked, covered in sweat. It was the same dream. The one a kept having. Laying in a grave, all of those who I had failed emerging from the dirt, clawing at me, tearing me apart. Sam and Dean, standing over, as always, telling me what a bad person I was. How many people I'd killed. How much I deserved this. But the thing was, they were right. I did deserve it. I had killed so many. I was a bad person, a worthless one. Then, I remembered another detail from the dream. There had been a third person looking down into the grave. Kevin. But he wasn't yelling at me, telling how horrible I was. No, he was just looking at me with sad eyes. I scratched my head in confusion. What did that mean?  
I looked up to see Sam and Dean walk into the room with chalk. "What's going on?" I asked sleepily.  
"Meg's gone. She's meeting up with other demons."  
I blinked in surprise. "Really? I thought she was, like, on our side."  
"Yeah well apparently not." Dean grumbled.  
We waited around for a while before Meg came, obviously surprised to be caught in a devils trap. "Didn't expect to see you back." Sam said, betrayal in his voice. We might not of liked Meg, but we had trusted her because of Castiel. "Yeah, not without the King's army." Dean gestured toward the weapon in Meg's hand. "Knife." With a glare at Dean, Meg handed over the knife.  
"Typical. I save our bacon, and you're sitting here, waiting by a devil's trap. Seriously, I just killed two of Crowley's men. I could have gone the other way on that."  
"It's true, incidentally. There's other demons' blood on that blade." I frowned in confusion. "So we're supposed to believe Meg, the demon whose hated us for years, is actually helping us when she meets with other demons." She let out a sigh of impatience and looked at me with annoyed eyes. "Look, I'm simpler than you think. I've figured one thing out about this world – just one, pretty much. You find a cause, and you serve it. Give yourself over, and it orders your life. Lucifer and Yellow Eyes – their mission was it for me." I suddenly felt a bit of guilt for not trusting her. I mean, she sounded honest, and Cas did say it was other demons blood on the knife. "So, what?" Dean spat, "We should trust you because you wanted to free Satan from Hell?"  
The demon in questioning just rolled her eyes. "I'm talking "cause," douchebag, as in reason to get up in the morning. Obviously, these things shift over time. We learn, we grow. Now, for me currently, the cause is bringing down the King. And I know we'll need help to do it."  
This time it was Deans turn to roll his eyes. "Crowley ain't the problem this year." Meg recoiled in anger. "When are you gonna get it? Crowley's always the problem. He's just waiting for the right moment to strike. I know what I'm supposed to do. And it isn't screw with Sam, Lauren, and Dean or lose the only angel who'd go to bat for me." I walked over to the door and broke the devils trap before Dean could object. "This is good." Castiel said from his little corner of the room. "harmony and communication. Now our only problem is Hester."  
"What?"  
"Well, here, we're hidden from the Garrison, but when you killed a demon, you put out a pretty clear beacon."  
"We need better angel-proofing now"  
Before anyone could move to start angel proofing, the door snapped in half and tore open. Hester was here. "You took the Prophet from us?!" She exclaimed angrily.  
"I'm – I'm sorry?" A distressful Castiel tried. Hester just looked at him in disgust. "You have fallen in every way imaginable." That's when Inias finally spoke. "Please, Castiel. We have to follow the code. Help us do our work." I answered before Cas could get the chance.  
"He can't help you. He can't help anybody."  
"We don't need his help... or his permission." Hester nodded to Inias who disappeared.  
"The Keeper goes to the desert tonight."  
Inias suddenly reappeared, Kevin by his side.  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back off. We're actually trying to clean up one of your angel's messes! You know that." Castiel looked at the ground in shame and regret.  
"He's right. An angel brought the Leviathan back into this world, and – and they begged him. They begged him not to do it." Dean broke his gaze at Cas and looked back up at Hester. "Look, just give us some time, okay? We will take care of your Prophet." For the umpteenth time, Hester looked outraged. "Why should we give you anything... After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! For that, you're going to pay."  
She walked towards Dean, Sam, and I. "Please." Castiel said "They're the ones we were put here to protect."  
"No, Castiel." Hester suddenly hit Cas with such force he fell to ground. I moved to go help him, but an angel was in front of me, two fingers ready.  
"No more madness!" Hester said, punching Castiel. "No more promises!" Another punch. "No more new Gods!" She then punched the poor fallen angel repeatedly and held up an angel blade. "Cas no!" I yelled in protest. Not Cas. I couldn't lose Cas, not again. He was my best friend, in a way. Inias apparently didn't like the idea of Cas dying either. "Hester! No!" He grabbed Hester's arm. "Please! There's so few of us left." She punched the kind angel causing him to fall back, away from Hester and the blade threatening to kill Castiel.  
She turned her attention back to the latter. "You wanted free will. Now I'm making the choices." Hester raised the blade, but suddenly, a light blazed from her chest. Meg. I hadn't even seen her sneak up to Hester. I had been to focused on Castiel.  
When no one said anything, Meg asked, "What? Someone had to."

Cas and Inias talked while I walked over to Kevin. "Hey" I said softly. He looked up from his notebook and smiled at me. "Hey," he said back, his brown eyes meeting my blue ones. "I just wanted to thank you. For the rest stop. Thanks for listening to me. I really needed to get it off my chest- to tell someone." He smiled at me again, but broke our gaze. "Hey it's no problem. Thanks for letting me tell you how I felt, and for letting me listen." He suddenly blushed a pulled something out of his pocket. "And, uh, just in case you need me to, like, translate another tablet or do p-prophet stuff, here's- here's, uh, my number." I tried to ignore to bubbling feeling in my chest as I took the piece of paper from him, our fingers brushing in the process. I opened my mouth to say something else, but Sam and Dean appeared and interrupted me. "Thanks, Kevin." Sam said, gesturing to the notebook with the tablet translation. "Not a lot of people could have handled this."  
Dean patted him on the back. "You doing all right there, "chosen one"?"  
He let out a small sigh. "Yeah."  
Inias, apparently done talking to Cas, approached their little circle.  
"Are you ready, Kevin Tran?"  
Two angels appeared as Kevin nodded and put their hands on his shoulders. "Bring the Keeper to his home." Inias said. "We can watch over him there." He disappeared and the other angels with Kevin followed suit. Dean turned to Cas, "I couldn't find Meg anywhere."  
"Yes, well, she enjoys laying low."  
I glanced over at Sam who was reading the tablet translation. "Does it say anything about how to kill those bastards?" I asked. He cleared his throat, "Here. "Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen." Uh... It says we need to start with the blood of a fallen angel." Sam, Dean, and I turned to look at Castiel, who just smiled. "Well, you know me." He held out a small bottle, that instantly filled with blood. "I'm always happy to bleed for Lauren and the Winchesters." He held the small vile out to Dean, who took it and put it down on the table before them.  
"What are you gonna do, Cas?"  
"I don't know." He smiled. "Isn't that amazing?" The angel disappeared and Sam went back to reading the notebook. "Well," Dean said, patting me on the back. "Lets get to work."

**I know it's not that great but please R&R and tell me your thoughts. If enough people like it I will continue the story but if it gets bad reviews or no one reads it I'll just post the chapters I've already written and stop the story. Anyways, I will try and update every week. Thanks so much for reading!**


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